Two More Poems for the masses

[celest]

here a a couple more poems i wrote

Fallen

Falling
My spirit dies as I sadden
Screaming
My voice cries for a savior
Breaking
My soul shatters on icy water
Crying
Pain floods my body

help me

Fighting
I struggle against the current
Drowning
Breath, Strength, Hope, all leave me
Sinking
Slowly I settle in my sandy grave
Dying
Darkness encloses my broken self

“I love you”

Sound
I reawaken at his call
Touch
My being lifts in his grasp
Hope
Strong arms wrap around me
Light
Darkness flees at his presence

“I love you”

Rising
Slowly he carries me back
Saving
He fights for me, for us
Breaking
Together we rise above the surface
Calling
His voice speaks to me

“I love you”

Warmth
He pulls me close, his fire warms me
Life
He holds me tight, healing me
Joy
He whispers again sweet words in my ear
Love
My spirit takes flight once more

I love you too

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Darkness’s Angel

I am Darkness’s Angel
I am a Lady of the Night
My father is the darkened sky
My mother is the Moon

I am Darkness’s Angel
With black wings I fly
My skin disguised as moon beams
My eyes disguised as stars

I am Darkness’s Angel
A white scar marked upon my breast
Attempts at my heart are many
Yet scared I with stand the pain

I am Darkness’s Angel
Through the night sky I fly
Finding children blinded by daylight
Shielding them and healing their eyes

I am Darkness’s Angel
I hold Moon Lights Sword in my hand
With Darkwood Staff I defend my children
With silver blades I push back the light

I am Darkness’s Angel
My Lord sits on his obsidian throne
He cloak himself in nighttime shadows
His power lies in the stars

I am Darkness’s Angel
By my Lord’s side I stand
My hand rests with in his
Our children someday will fly

[gryphonpoet]

Just to let you know that I'm not ignoring your post, Celeste. I'm rather short of time at the present moment. I intend to give these two poems a good reading and post some comments, most likely on Thursday.

I promise.

[gryphonpoet]

OK. Less hectic schedule now and I've read the poems.

I enjoyed the first one more, with its sense of lost love and finding it again. I mean the emotion, not necessarily a specific person. There is a big difference and there are people who seem to have the two confused.

Usually, I'm not big on "love" poetry. Most people who write them tend to overuse the word in the lines. I prefer a description of what is felt, the way you did in "Fallen", as opposed to a direct, flat statement.

"Darkness' Angel" gives me a darker and more metaphorical feeling. Your imagery of defending your children evokes a strong sense inside me.

First, let me say that the only real suggestions that I can make are in grammar. When the word that possesses ends in the "sss" sound, the possessive "s" is unnecessary after the apostrophe.

The final line is especially strong for me. "Our children someday will fly", tells indirectly of the determination you're imparting to the children. Whether the children are literal or a euphemism, the love and the hope is conveyed effectively.

I think that you have two poems that are really quite publishable. Kudos!