We are the Same

[The Hatter]

All you hear is sadness, depression, and angst in my music,
I see it as a reflection of what is true to me.
All I hear in your music is decedance, objectification and greed,
You see it as as a reflection of what is true to you.

I wear this dark makeup, to show on the outside what I feel like within.
You call me a "queer", "a faggot", and "creepy".
You wear those high priced clouthes to reflect your success in life.
I call you "Shallow", "Brainless", and "Artificial".

I speak of death, the darkness within ones soul, no possibility of redemption.
You speak of life, the light of happiness, the contentment of existence.

Yet we both say these things, as if they where true for all...and not one.
Despite our differences...we are one.
We are the same,
We are the same,
We are the same...

[gryphonpoet]

I like how you contrasted the two people and magnified the differences within the lines of seperation. These two could not have been more opposites. I happen to agree with your thought in the poem. I have met, without exaggeration, over a million people in my lifetime and though they are each individuals, they are really all the same. People are still people.

Two things about the poem itself, though. I hope you don't mind me mentioning. First, watch spelling. It is a fast way to lose the reader you're trying to reach. Secondly, I have some opinions about the line breaks in the 3rd verse.

I have learned that the opening lines are like a contract with the reader. They will expect the poem to flow the way you lay out the first verse. In this case, a basic 4-line verse without rhyme. If the form changes, the reader tends to expect some kind of huge change in the poem.

What you say in this poem NEEDS to be said and heard. But the poem itself doesn't shift in perspective, tone or message. In fact, its consistency is a strong point. For my advice, keep the extra line break between lines 12 and 13. That would also emphasize the repetition of lines 13 through 16, when you keep them as a seperate verse on their own. You're saying "this is exactly how important that idea is".

Nice work, Keraz. It is difficult to share an emotional moment in any case. You shared this moment well.

[The Hatter]

Thanks alot Poet. I always look for input in all that I do, it helps one learn and grow. To tell you quite honestly, I put no planning into this poem, which I should have stated. I just sat down with a black screen in front of me and just started typing, and at the end hit the send button.

I guess it was that I had just gotten back from being out and had a group of people scream some rather nasty things at myself and my friends, just because we where "gothed out as it where."

But again, thanks for the input ^_^ It's always appreciated

[gryphonpoet]

No prob, KD. I figure that if you post something here, you might want to know what someone likes about it and/or dislikes.

After all, our poems are like our children. We want them to end up as the best that they can be. Right?

[The Hatter]

I don't talk to you enough....did I ever mention that? *chuckles*