To my unknown foe

[Kensai]

To my unknown foe
In memory of Frikkie van Heerden, Gert Schoeman, Nzama Victor Mathye and Peter Francois Seaward

Was it worth it?
As the anger and fear filled you
As your finger lay on the trigger
As you looked in their eyes
As the angels hid their faces

Did you feel strong?
Did you feel powerful?
Did you feel like a god?
Or did you feel like a criminal?

As you raise that gun
As you sight him in your crosshairs
As you close your eyes and pray
And as you squeeze that trigger

Another hero dies
Fighting for justice he falls
Sacrificing his life
Surrendering to the sky

The rain of lead begins
The trail of red begins
The white hot fear begins
The humanity
Stops.

These four brave men were police officers who lost their lives in a shootout that occurred yesterday. Eight of the 19 robbers were also killed.

[Kensai]

Sorry, I should have added. Does anyone have any comments or suggestions?

This poem was written in a touch of sorrow and anger combined. I wrote another not as good one but the last line sums up this one nicely, Could I forget the faces of heroes?

[gryphonpoet]

Cathy, a memorial isn't about how skillful it is written, but rather about the emotions it evokes.

You used the repetitive lines and I got the feeling of time slowing down. That adds to the tension of a shootout. With the breakup of your last line, there is an implied hesitation. Whether the reader takes it as a moment of an emotional lump-in-the-throat or a dramatic pause, it heightens the intensity of that moment when we realize that those heroes are dead.

Over all, you have a solid write that brings a heady mix of emotions, at least to me.

[Kensai]

Thanks, Joe

I appreciate the input, it often helps if others give their opinions on a piece since often not even the poet themselves (well at least I do sometimes) can understand the words written.

Anyone else have something to add? Come on, the majority of you live in the States, so I can't touch you (or hurt you mwhaahaa)

[alexander]

What a sad poem. I like it though, I hope a shootout like that doesn't happen again for a long time. Good job with "To my unknown foe," Cathy.